below

Once as a little blond haired girl-child
with blue and dreaming eyes,
fair future far away I wanted,
like fairytales weren’t lies.

Today where am I; I’m here below
the surface and the skies.
I’m swimming deeply lost and lonely,
though spirit upward flies.

Near murky bottom, slimy inlet
I hear the blond girl’s cries.
I catch my breath above with cold air;
crisp love my heart denies.

Afraid of showing all that’s hidden,
though selfish conscience tries.
On currents cold of air and water
mired spirals lusting rise.

What if suddenly I want to stop,
answer those how’s and why’s;
could I not be filled with worry that
truth would be love’s demise.